So, I have plenty of things I should blog about. I need to tell y’all about my turkey brining adventure, about cooking Thanksgiving for 20 people, about my first month of the Day Zero project. That my sister is pregnant (yay! finally can let that cat out of the bag), about collecting my Grandmother’s recipes for a family cookbook, along with stories of my Great-Great Grandmother cooking 100 pies and cakes each Christmas, stored in a pie safe my Great-Great Grandfather built in a tree(!). I need to start publically freaking out that Christmas is in 3 weeks and complaining that I haven’t done any shopping. I had plenty of time to contemplate all this blogging brillance yesterday when I was trapped in my car for well over 8 hours, most of the time sitting still or barely moving on Interstate 81. For those of you who follow me on Twitter or are Facebook friends with me, you read about the awfulness. Thank goodness for the magical iPhone, else I would have definitely died of boredom. From my parents’ house to my house in NoVa, it’s 339 miles, which Google Maps says should take 5 hours, 33 minutes, with traffic. Assuming I was traveling 70 mph, in the time I was driving, I could have covered almost 580 miles, which would have gotten me to Savannah; Cleveland; Lancaster, PA; Evansville, IN (and almost into Illinois); and almost to Birmingham, AL. And, while traffic did allow me to Twitter, Facebook, and text message my way across the Commonwealth, what I really wanted was to live-blog the experience… a sampling of what would have occured is after the jump…
9:30 am – wake up, have yummy quiche, coffee, and oranges with the parents, put in last load of laundry
10:30 am – go to church, celebrate 1st Sunday of Advent
12:30 pm – come home, put laundry in dryer; check Facebook, see that friends already traveling on 81 are stuck in traffic, briefly consider alternate routes; begin packing for trip back
1:30 pm – go tell Grandmother good bye; collect last of Thanksgiving leftovers (it pays to be the last grandchild out of Dodge); see traffic moving at good pace on 81; grasp on to hope
2:10 pm – sit down to delicious lunch of Mom’s beef vegetable soup, homemade bread, and amazing applesauce cake
3:10 pm – car packed, pull out of driveway only 10 minutes later than planned
3:30 pm – after stops at the Dollar General and Christmas tree lot (to pick up a wreath), actually leave Chilhowie; status: hopeful
3:40 pm – drive past 1st Amber/traffic alert sign, see warnings for “congestion” at mile marker 70 and on I-77S; status: slight concern
4:10 pm – approaching mile marker 70, learn that “congestion” was putting it mildly, attempt to follow the movie the car in front of me is watching; status: actually concerned
4:25 pm – movie watching friends change lanes; status: sad
5:00 pm – get off exit 84 (Grahams Forge, VA); have driven 50 miles in 90 minutes; acquire first cup of coffee and chex mix; status: grasping to hope
5:15 pm – back on the road to warnings of 20+ miles of congestion at mile marker 119; status: wondering how many versions of “Oh Holy Night” are on my iPod
5:45 pm – hit promised congestion; status: despair
6:00 pm – spend 45 minutes attempting to take decent picture of traffic with my iPhone camera; status: frustrated with magical iPhone
7:00 pm – stop at exit 150 for gas ($1.55/gal!); note have traveled 115 miles in 3.5 hours; am forced to use men’s restroom because women’s is “out of order;” acquire 2nd cup of coffee and a corn dog; discuss alternate routes with clerk who has worked at the Dodge’s Store for probably 10 years and some random man from Los Angeles (no clue what he was doing in Roanoke); status: full of self-doubt
7:15 pm – call parents immediately after getting back on 81 to standstill traffic; question whether I should alternate route it across 460, then up 29 to NoVa; Dad emphatically says “no;” call 511, nothing going on more than congestion; traffic begins moving again; status: uncertain
8:00 pm – approaching Natural Bridge; talk to Katie for 30 minutes, hearing all about “Disney on Ice” (they had a great time, Kylie loved it, was super excited); more congestion thanks to 64 running in to 81 near Lexington; status: slightly amused and tired of Christmas music
8:05 pm – decide that I fully support government funding to study teleporting; status: delusional
8:45 pm – after mucho traffic through Lexington, get off 81 and onto Hwy 11; change from Christmas playlist to Matt Nathanson; status: OMG I’M GOING 60 MPH!!!!!!!!!!
9:10 pm – get back on 81 in Greenville (exit 213); 178 or so miles in 6 hours; traffic is heavy, but moving; status: exhausted and seriously considering stopping at a hotel and driving remainder in the morning
9:20 pm – 64E splits off, traffic disappears; status: still exhausted
10:00 pm – stop at Mt Jackson (exit 273), cup of coffee #3; junk food has lost its appeal; status: on auto-pilot
10:30 pm – get on I-66E; status: understand what Moses may have felt like when he reached the Promised Land
11:00 pm – switch back to Christmas music from Nathanson; status: amazed I’m still functioning
11:30 pm – exit off 66 in Ballston, call Mom, note it is starting to rain (versus the drizzle I’ve been driving in all trip); want to cry at prospect of having to unload car in rain; status: depths of despair
11:45 pm – pull into parking lot; unload car; kill giant (seriously 4″) slug; move car to Mogadishu; unpack groceries; take shower, head toward bed around 12:30 am; status: ready for Christmas vacation
Poor Gwen! I’d been keeping up with your play-by-play on twitter, but I like the slightly more detailed live-blogging here. I’m sorry, but I chuckled a couple of times. Sorry.